Step Outside the Comfort Zone...

After our lesson with Linda Parelli on Tuesday we were all enthusiastic to practice what we had learned on Wednesday morning. Maurice introduced us to the colt starting skeleton, the steps to have a horse accepting the human, saddle, rider and bit. Since Maurice is one of the few licenced Colt Start Parelli Professionals he was full of interesting facts and stories and so we only got through half of the skeleton. We then tacked up our horses and had a ride. I had dropped one of my spurs on the way out of the house in the morning so I had to ride without them, and it was an eye opener! The spurs had been helping me with the porcupine but I was clearly not winning the game yet because without them Boaz was really not responsive. In the end I had to ride freestyle with te stick ready to back up my seat. I was happy when I was able to use my seat and rhythm to get more energy from Boaz at the trot, and once he was blowing out I was ready to quit. We all practiced our leg yield and showed a big improvement on the previous attempt, showing that we were all becoming more aware of where our horses legs were and what they were doing. I still don’t have that 100% but my awareness has greatly improved and I am thinking about how I correct my horse in a different way.

After lunch Maurice and Susan discussed the finer details of the falling leaf pattern, s pattern and rockslide. It was very useful to me because I hadn’t had clear instruction on these patterns since I was in level 2 and Maurice was able to giv us tips on how to handle the stick and rope in ways that I would not have been ready for back then. Now things are getting a lot more particular and precise.  The falling leaf and rockslide were particularly useful patterns with Boaz, who is mostly a confident horse and needs more drive than draw. With Boaz responding a little better online, I did my evening chores and headed up to the lodge for the first barbeque of the season. The food was great but my house mates and I were feeling rather tired after our night at the Springs, so we headed home fairly early, before the bonfire was really under way. Tim Sullivan was there singing and invited everyone to go hear him play at the Pagosa Pubworks on Friday night.

Thursday morning we completed the colt start skeleton before taking our horses up to the honeycomb (for those that don’t know this is a large circular pen with four smaller circular pens inside it. We split into three groups, one group would be playing liberty with each person in their own pen, another group practiced maintain gait at freestyle follow the rail in both directions along the rail of the large circle, and the third group were spending undemanding time grazing their horses, watching and learning from the others. I was in the riding group first and at first, although he would maintain gait, Boaz was not maintaining a rhythm. I would correct him when he really lost balance or dropped speed but tried to leave him alone as much as possible and have him find his most efficient trot, once he realised he was committed to the pattern. It didn’t take too long, maybe 7 or 8 laps for him to really start balancing. I then found a spot in one of the liberty pens. Susan had given us a demonstration on acting like the lead mare and gaining the horse’s connection in a way I had never seen before. The technique made do much sense that I was immediately excited and looking forward to practicing with Boaz. Basically the principle of game is based on watching dominant horses claim the hay piles other horses are eating from. So every time the horse stopped and did not have his eyes and ears on us we would walk up to the spot where he had halted and we would use our energy (at different levels depending on the horse) to claim the spot where the horse had stopped still, even if the horse was still there. The game was not about hitting the horse but about claiming every spot he stopped at. Some horses would stop and pivot, keeping their eyes and ears on the human, this still entitled the human to come in and claim the spot because the horse had to work out that the most comfortable place to stop was with the human. It took a little while with Boaz as I starting softly and built up the energy of my claiming. Soon enough Boaz was following me around and staying connected even after I allowed him to stand near me and graze for a while. I was happy with our session, and excited by what this would mean for our connection, as I took him over to the grazing area to relax and soak in all our learning.

After lunch Kristi Smith came and introduced herself to us as new campus manager. It was very interesting to learn about her journey, her role, and what she expected from us. I’m glad we had this opportunity because she’s an incredible horsewoman and I can learn a lot from her. I particularly find her drive inspirational; she won’t be a victim of life and hates excuses.

We then had individual appointments with Maurice and Susan to discuss our goals, in life and for the externship. I used the waiting time talking to other externs and practicing my roping skills. When it was finally my time I went into the office. We joked that about the “hot seat” because the foam on the arm rests had been ripped off in chunks, and it looked like people had been tortured. I laughed that they were about to strap me to a lie detector. Already laughing, and then sharing Worther’s Originals, it was easy to feel relaxed in what would normally be a stressful situation. Maurice and Susan are so warm, friendly and genuine that it is easy to trust them that they seriously do only want to help you achieve your goals. Maurice asked me what my long term goals were. I asked what he meant by long term, and he said life. I said that I want to have a family and be a Parelli Professional, that I am picturing myself being a 2 star whilst I raise my family but want to achieve at least 3 star status and keep pushing on as high as I can. He asked me what my goals were for the externship and I told him that the reason I had chosen to do the externship over the one star course was because I did not feel like I would be a good enough instructor to make a mark in a competitive market when I had completed the Fast Track. I had decided to be a working student and work my way up to the externship first. My idea had been to complete the externship with the professional aptitude scores for a 2** and necessary horsemanship, and would only need to do the required time as a one star before becoming a two star. I also confessed that when I formed this plan I had not anticipated that I would make it to the externship so soon. Now I still want to reach level four in online and freestyle so that I have the necessary horsemanship to be a 2 star, but I am also happy if I leave the externship with the skills and knowledge that I just need to apply a little more time and practice to get my level fours. Maurice asked me where I thought my online was. I said that I scored 3++ last summer and since then had focused on my freestyle and not much on online so I felt I was still 3++. I added that I can see the standard for level 4 and I use my stick and higher phases too much and do not have enough distance yet. Maurice told me that he felt that I was being very realistic and had good awareness. He added that he believed I would be able to get my online level four on the externship with Boaz, and even my freestyle if we could address my saddle issue. The saddle I had bought on Ebay is very high in the back and Boaz is built down-hill. I cannot shim the saddle enough to assist me to find my balance point and so I have to fight the saddle every time I ride. I explained why I had ended up with that saddle and agreed that it was not working. Maurice said we would find a solution and that Parelli Saddles would visit at some point and maybe something could be worked out. I left the meeting feeling very supported. I decided to play with Boaz for a short session, just four feet on the pedestal (he had been having trouble with it), connection on the circle and, if we had time, the liberty game in the round pen. He got all four feet on the pedestal within a few minutes and our online session was finished after just 15 minutes so I took him to the round pen and after I claimed his spot twice he was super connected to me and I took him back to his pen at liberty. I felt awesome!

After completing my chores I headed up to the lodge to join the other externs and instructors on the 3 star course for our first dance lesson with Paul. He taught us four simple” line dances. It was a real challenge to get the message to go from my brain, through my body and to my feet and I felt like a fish out of water but I had moments where the moves flowed through me and it felt great. I did have a lot of fun and am looking forward to next week’s class.

Friday was an intense day for me. We were all doing practice auditions in the savvy of our choice. I knew that I was not nearly ready for a real audition with Boaz but the purpose was for us to get specific feedback in the areas we needed to improve. I was the last person to do the online audition and would be at the end of the morning. I decided to spend time with Boaz and just sprinkle in a bit of playing in between grazing time until it was our turn to do our audition. Things were going well, Boaz was becoming more responsive (slowly) and when I allowed him to graze he would stand for a long time not eating, being really connected. I guess he felt like I still expected stuff from him or wouldn’t let him graze, I don’t know. We were both starting to be bothered by horse flies and our time was coming up. I had tested out the zone 5 driving and had decided just to show a little one rein zone five driving as we needed much more responsive transitions and more accurate steering. I still remembered the compulsories from my audition bonanza last summer so I planned to do zone 5 driving weave pattern, then circles with jump, pedestal, lead by the tail, and trailer. There was only one more person to be auditioned so I prepared to send Boaz on a circle. He wasn’t really backing up so I did a long phase one and then brought my energy right up and kind of ran toward him with a driving game. Instead of backing up he span around and took off ripping the 45 ft line through my hands. He tore across the playground past the “judges”, through the area where Anne was just finishing her audition. I sheepishly mimed sorry to the judges as I passed them to get him. He was happy enough when I reached him and popped the big log when I asked him as we returned to our end of the playground. I then backed him up and pointed in the direction I wanted him to go, putting the intensity into my phase one that I had mastered during my time in France and counting one, two, three before I channelled that intensity into a tagging of the spot where he was standing. Boaz had clearly had enough and was not on board for these kind of games because he again span around and tore off at full speed. I tried to let the rope slip a little and add little grips to slow him but within two sponges of my fingers I was at the end of the rope and in a last effort I tightened my grip, just enough to earn a, I guess deserved, learn burn. It’s at times like this I’m glad I have such calloused hands! Now my hands are beautifully smooth! But in that moment my hands were burning and panic set in. I knew a third escape would make a pattern of this and I had to stop him from pulling away from me. I also knew that there was a serious problem in our relationship and that I would not be able to do the plan I had intended for the audition. I caught Boaz and lead him out to one of the round pens. I did some porcupine and driving games before sending him on a circle and immediately he turned his butt on me but was unable to take off. I was able to maintain a feel and we had a big discussion, I guess it was more of an argument but as soon as he made a slight effort to try to be with me again I took all of the pressure off of him and we headed back to the playground. I was, by now, struggling to keep my emotions in control. I wanted to ask if I could not do the audition, or if it could wait until the afternoon, but I knew that I should be able to pull myself together enough to get out there and show something. As we headed into the playground Amanda was finishing an awesome audition and I used the falling leaf and rockslide pattern to get Boaz moving his feet. I was very aware of my energy and realised that it would not take too much from me to send him off again. I kept him at a much closer distance so that I could influence him with less energy and I felt myself concentrating over time. Kristi asked me whether I wanted energetic music or soft and sweet. I immediately replied “soft and sweet” and she said “good” and I wondered if she agreed with my decision to keep things soft. Boaz felt my insecurity, indecisiveness and lack of a plan, however we formed enough connection that he stayed with me and did complete most of the compulsory tasks within the ten minutes, including jumping the log, lead by the tail, four feet on the pedestal and trailer loading. He even game me one decent circle at the trot and I decided to quit the circling game there. I felt my emotional control begin to shake again as I listened to Maurice and Kristie’s comments. They agreed that Boaz was winning the porcupine game and that I needed to establish more leadership without getting harder on him. I was feeling shattered, I had tried my absolute best and felt like I had hit the end of my knowledge and couldn’t think how to do that. I took a few moments on my own to stop my emotional energy affecting others. I knew I would feel better once I had been able to process everything, but I really needed to be alone to do that. As soon as we were dismissed for lunch I took off up the track to the lodge so that I could walk alone. My thinking must have slowed me down because Graham and Kim caught up with me and expressed care and kindness to me. I appreciated it but it took a few more minutes before I could really discuss what had happened. I told Kim that I felt that this barrier had also been my limit in France and so I knew that Boaz was teaching me exactly what I needed to learn. And I am definitely in the best place to learn!

I spent the afternoon watching the other students do their freestyle and liberty auditions and learning from the comments they received. I did feel confident, after watching the auditions, that I am on a good track to getting my level four freestyle with Paris, I only need to get the flying changes. Of course there is always room to improve responsiveness and stuff too and I look forward to applying all that I’m learning here to my ultimate sacrificial lamb!

It was a timely experience as the previous afternoon Kristi had been telling us all about how we needed to have positive progressive attitudes and she had gone into what that really meant. We had also been discussing mental, emotional and physical fitness in the days before. On a side note, I guess I am really in need of having this all hammered into me right now because I spent hours yesterday writing up the notes on these topics and my computer didn’t save them despite the fact that I know I clicked save. So now I get to think deeply about it all over again, I will really know what these concepts mean by heart!

Needless to say my introversion was not helping me out and so I flipped over to the extrovert side of life and felt a determination to go out on the town and socialise! I got changed at the condo and ate salad and then Lena dropped me and Graham at the Pagosa Pubworks, where we were meeting Freda and several other externs had said they would come. Tim Sullivan was playing his guitar and singing and the pub had a nice atmosphere. As more externs arrived we chatted and danced. A few local were keen to teach us to dance and we all took a turn to two or three step with a man Jennifer has renamed “Gandolf”. It was a lot of fun but as the others started to head off home I felt like staying out. Fortunately I found a partner in crime. I think I should clarify something at this point. In my blog post “Level One with Excellence” I described my night out and mentioned that the girls were gone and so were a lot of guys. I want to make it clear that none of our girls left with guys from the bar. Apparently the bar is usually pretty quiet and our group had brought a lot of life to the place, so when they left a lot of locals also decided it was getting late and turned in. I want to be able to continue providing detailed blogs of my adventures but I do not want anyone to get in trouble over things I have said. I cannot write every little thing down, although you might notice I do try my best! If anyone is concerned about anything I write in my blog let me know!

Anyway, my dance partner and I headed over to Coyote Moon where it turned out to be reggae night. Neither of us had been to a reggae night before so it was a hilarious experience to join in with the dancing which ranged from gently swaying from side to side to having an epileptic fit. There was no need to worry about the rhythm of the music, in fact I felt out of place because I moved in time to the music! I had so much fun and got chatting to some people that had recently moved to Pagosa and were very proud of their new businesses. A couple of people were very keen to invite me and my buddy to the band’s after party but we had had a great night and declined their offer. I got home shortly after 2pm, just in time to Skype with Will who had just woken up.

I fell asleep at some point after four in the morning but kept waking up because we had to get to the ranch in time for Lena and Graham to give lessons. I cleaned out Boaz’s pen and spent hours typing notes (the ones that disappeared) whilst Boaz grazed. Graham and I then went shopping and I Skyped with Will again when we got home. I’m so glad we are managing to get so many opportunities to talk; I really had expected it to be more difficult. I got a Facebook message from Tom, the cowboy I had been talking to last week. We had been trying to come up with something to do on the weekend but he had ended up having to work. He invited me to a “bonfire party” at Lake Williams. I looked it up on Google and it was an hour north of where I’m living. Driving an hour to get to places is normal and commonplace in such a large open country. I accepted his invitation and gave his full name and details of where we were going to Graham. I had a really friendly, trusting feeling with Tom but my sensibility told me not to be too naive. When he arrived with his mate Adam to pick me up I was feeling a little nervous and quite excited about the evening. Tom (who I have told is now “my cowboy”) told me he had no idea how many people were going to be at the party. I told him that was fine but he was responsible for looking after me! He was very understanding of my precautions.

We climbed the mountains to 9,000 ft and parked up when we saw two cars near a campfire. A young woman, nicknamed Bucket, introduced herself and her dogs, including an adorable bull mastiff puppy called Monster. She was with a guy named Brian, Kyle had organised the party, and then it was me, Tom and Adam. Any awkwardness about my being a stranger among friends soon evaporated as Bucket asked me if English jokes were different to American ones. I started telling a long list of jokes at the expense of the Irish and blondes. We spent the night talking about everything from government and politics, religion, horsemanship, fishing, hunting and shooting and the finer details of how to toast marshmallows and eating smores! Each time the fire began to die I would worry that it was nearly the end of our party but we would always gather enough wood to keep it going. We played music from the various car stereos and I found myself wide awake on diet coke. At one point I was holding a big gun which had a flash light and using it to illuminate a fallen tree trunk which the guys were taking turns to chop into firewood using a chipping axe. I have been promised that I will be taught how to fire several different guns before I go home! By 3.30 am I felt like I had made some good friends and was extremely comfortable with my new companions. Adam was struggling to stay on his feet as he was falling asleep where he stood, and Tom asked me if I was tired. I was still wide awake but I could see Tom was getting tired and as he was driving I told him we should go. I know only too well the dangers of driving whilst tired.

I managed to get about four hours sleep before I dragged myself upstairs so that I was ready to go to the ranch when the others were. I have had a relaxed day grazing Boaz, typing more notes, blogging and chilling with my housemates. I’ll be hitting the pillow any minute now and expect I will sleep very well! Got to be fresh and ready for a new week of learning, which apparently is going to be more intense!