Catching Up! weeks four through six

So it’s been three weeks since I last blogged! Week 4 was my team’s turn to do the notes for the group which meant I was on my lap top every night typing up my notes and some nights compiling the notes of others, so I ran out of energy for my blog. Unfortunately, with so much happening, knowing you have so much to write about just makes the prospect more tiring and so I have finally reached the point where I’d better update my blog or else I will never do it! Which I think would be a shame.... So, I’m going to wrack my memory and do my best to recap everything, if I do a good job of it then this will be a very long post! If not... well then you won’t have to read so much!

Ok, stepping into the time machine and transporting us back three weeks ago, to where I last left you ...

I was hoping that after a very undemanding weekend for Boaz he might be a little less disenchanted with me. I was wrong. Maurice began the week by demonstrating another method for developing connection on the circling game but, when I played with it, it didn’t really work.  We reached the same point as always, and then he began squealing and turning and leaping to the end of the line and at one point he took off and I let go of the rope because the memory of Friday’s learn burns were still fresh. I had prepared for this eventuality by playing with Boaz in a small area. Maurice saw me struggling and he took Boaz and played with him whilst I held his horse. The other students played until they made a little bit of progress and then saddled up to practice opening gates. Boaz was being equally difficult for Maurice and he said that he would help me with Boaz. By the time Boaz gave one fairly ok lap he was mentally tired, blinking slowly. I spent a little undemanding time with him whilst the others finished up, before heading to lunch.

In the afternoon, Maurice and Susan were finishing the goal setting interviews and so I could not get any help with Boaz. I was still tired from the weekend and when I clipped the 45 ft line onto Boaz I felt my emotions come up. This was not going to go well. So I decided to play a short liberty session of the connection game and then sat on Boaz and took him to grass for the rest of the afternoon. If I wasn’t able to fix things I certainly didn’t want to make them worse. That night I forced myself to have an early night to recharge my batteries, which I know has a very clear link to my mental and emotional fitness!

The next morning I just rode Boaz. We were looking at the bowtie pattern, making sure we really understood it and were able to ride and teach it as Pat would like. I was grateful for all the time I had spent with Marie-Claire and Riva on this pattern because it was much easier to take in the finer details when the basics were already there. I don’t know why but the bowtie pattern is not in the Freestyle Patterns DVD. It really is a very useful pattern and Maurice explained how to vary it to make it suitable and useful for under and over impulsive horses.

The afternoon disappeared in a haze of theory lessons and presentations. Maurice had said he wanted to help me with Boaz online, so I didn’t want to do anything with that until he was able to help me, I was worried about reinforcing a negative pattern and doing more damage to my relationship with Boaz. It was very un-nerving to know I was doing my absolute best and it just wasn’t working, and now I was starting to feel a barrier when I thought of paying online with Boaz.

Wednesday morning was a reminder of everything we had already learned, plus we focused on trot and canter with a light seat, and getting canter departures using just our energy and weight. It was a very cool session and we took the horses out into the 160 acre pasture so it was a nice change from the arena.

In the afternoon, after some theory about the bosal, the class was allowed to focus on their own horse development. Maurice came to my rescue and played with Boaz. In the end, most of the class were perched on the rails of the arena watching. They had all seen my online audition wth him, and knew he had started to run off with the rope. Some people already had horses with similar issues, others just wanted to know, just in case they came across it. Maurice is obviously more skilled with the techniques he has been teaching us, and knows a fair few more, but as he played with Boaz I was reassured that whilst there were differences I had been mostly thinking on the same track as Maurice. He said that Boaz was very difficult because he felt no need to connect with people at all, he would stay as far away as he could, he was also extremely smart and worked out your new strategy within a few minutes and found a new way to out smart it. In the end Maurice had Boaz close to him and had to end the session after just one lap of a walk circle because it was the most connection he was able to get from Boaz. The whole time Boaz had been flitting from left brain punk to insecure and even fearful. Maurice likened him to the playground bully that got scared when someone finally stood up to him. I decided, whilst watching, that I would remove the water from Boaz’ pen and start a program of giving him his dinner, water and grass only when I was with him. I needed to become important to him. 

Thursday morning we went back to the 160 pasture for our light seat and canter depart exercises and then trail rode up the big hills and took turns making our way down Scootch Hill, a pretty steep slope where the horses really have to get under themselves and focus to make their way down. I love this kind of thing and had a grin from ear to ear the whole way down. 

In the afternoon Susan and Maurice were going around giving 30 minute private sessions to individuals. I decided to warm Boaz up with the connection game at liberty, as our issues seemed to be purely about connection. By the time Susan came over we were still very much into our liberty session so Susan gave me some tips to go even slower and break it down even more for Boaz as he was showing that he felt lost and bothered and didn’t know where to be. We spent a lot of time just standing together so that h could make the connection that being with me was a desirable and comfortable place to be. Boaz began investigating me, showing more interest than ever before and was licking and chewing loads. The session seemed to really make a big impact on his mind and he looked very tired so I ended the afternoon with undemanding time.

By Friday, the day we organised the Open House, Boaz was already starting to look for me so he could have water and get out f his pen for grass. I did feel bad that he only had hay and a salt block to entertain him when I wasn’t there but I had to change things. I found out that I was on the Savvy Team and had to ride freestyle in the following day’s Open House. Christie Smith gave us some advice, which included not doing anything new during the show. I decided to test Boaz out in the arena to see whether he already knew some cool things so that I could do them and they would not be technically new. I already knew he had great downward transitions, and fair upward ones. I tested my extreme friendly from the saddle and it was a real non-event for him, even at the trot, so I decided to include that. I tried to stand up on him but my saddle is so soft and moveable that I felt it was a bit too risky. I then reasoned that, when I was avoiding using the bit I had been riding him freestyle with only the neck string and carrot stick. I unclipped my reins and trotted some figure eight patterns and then cantered a cloverleaf. Boaz was awesome and I felt like, if everything lined up and went ok I might be able to take the bridle off during the Open House.

Needless to say, I played it sensible and stayed home Friday night so I would be in best mental and emotional shape for the Open House.

We were all up early Saturday morning to go get horses ready and set up obstacles for the day. I set about getting Boaz as clean as possible without getting him completely soaked. I am very conscious about the fact that water here is absolutely a finite resource and I don’t like bathing horses unnecessarily anyway. So I washed his white socks and groomed him until he sparkled. I then lead him up to the lodge so that I could tack him up and change into my nicest riding clothes. By the time we got there he already had black feet. I reassured myself that with the arena sand it would not be so obvious. Once ready, I mounted Boaz and we headed for the honeycomb to warm up out of the way of our awesome ground crew who were busy sorting out the obstacles in the arena and setting up the sound system. As I began to trot around the honeycomb I felt Boaz respond to my different energy. Boaz does not become particularly emotional when your energy changes, he become mentally bracey! So he started to jump sideways off of our track or into the rail, bashing my leg as he did. He would speed up then slow down and I felt that moment of “oh no! Why now?” My thoughts apparently escaped out my mouth because my fellow team members saif “maybe it’s your energy?!”

Hmmmm, how interesting?! Although this question was not reassuring (because I knew it was the case and I didn’t know what to do about it) I had to face the fact that we were about to be called into the arena to show what we could do.

We were then called over, the music started, Shirley, our MC, introduced each team member and we set off in our different directions. Immediately I felt myself change. I relaxed to the music, smiled at the audience, and felt like “we can ‘t change things now, let’s just make the most of it”. And funnily enough Boaz became my perfect partner. He had go and whoa, was steerable, would stand on the pedestal, jump the jumps, and was not bothered by the spectators and atmosphere.

The moment came sooner than I had thought that I decided we were ready to take off the bridle. I slid it off and threw it over the rail, did a turn on the hind end and headed off on a follow the rail. We did transitions, trotted the figure eight, cantered point to points and then did the jump a couple of times. Boaz was just as cool bridleless as with it and after the show I had a couple of spectators come and talk to me and tell me how impressed they were. Shirley had mentioned he is only 4 years old and I have been playing with him for one month so they were extra impressed by the relationship I had with him already. I smiled at the irony, in the saddle our relationship was going from strength to strength but our relationship on the ground had some serious catching up to do.

Pat always says Good Better Best, Never Let it Rest, Get Your Good Better and Your Better Best. So I have been putting time into improving our freestyle and finesse but I am also very careful to keep making progress on our ground savvies without burning the poor boy out.

The rest of the Open House was equally a booming success. My other team mates put in stirling performances, the Parelli Games ran smoothly and were a lot of fun, thanks to the hard work of the Games Team, and our Savvy Spotlights provided inspiration in all four savvies. Saturday night was a good night to go out with everyone and celebrate! We went to an Italian restaurant and then on to On the Rocks to dance and play table tennis!

Sunday was a recovery day, and I sat with Boaz in the sun for a long time, letting him eat grass. It didn’t feel so warm but the sun’s intensity got to me and I got a little burned on my back and neck.

I’m afraid I can’t remember exactly what classes we had in what order for last week, because I have already hacked up my notes. I have been making notes daily and then I am cutting and pasting them, with additional information, into one document so that rather than be in chronological order bouncing about from this tip to that, I have put information into topics and chapters. The idea is to have a kind of reference manual of everything I have learned from the externship by the end. My notes are pretty detailed and it’s taking a lot of effort! Some people have asked me to share my notes and I certainly am open to bribes! However, I want it made clear that these are my personal notes and they have not been endorsed or approved by Parelli.

We focused on two stick riding, haunches in and keeping soft touch and all the other lessons we had learned. Linda came and noticed that we had all made an effort to improve the forwardness of our horses and our soft touch. She gave us some exercises to focus on our rhythm which is crucial to good riding and the first step on the scale to collection. I also continued playing the connection game with Boaz at liberty and then played with him online as if we were at liberty, still playing the connection game and using the end of the rope as the wall of the round pen. It’s something we hear all the time in Parelli – “Play at liberty as if you’re online and online as if you’re at liberty” – and yet it felt like I was just really getting it. No matter how many times someone tells you the solution, there is nothing like working it out for yourself! I noticed at liberty that Boaz got insecure whenever I started doing the driving game because he wasn’t sure where he should be. This meant that all the following games were broken. The driving game is involved in all of them! I spent a lot of time in phase one, waiting for him to begin to feel for the right answer and then I would quit. I’d like to say that I quit everytime he felt for the right answer but honestly most times I only quit when he showed he was on the right track by shifting his weight or even his feet in the right direction. Technically this is too late if you want to be a master horseman. We had the privilege of watching Pat play with a problem horse and he was constantly quitting when we thought it was too soon. But Pat is a master at reading the horse, he sees the horse feeling the right answer, he sees when it goes into the horse’s mind. This is why he can get results so much faster than most of us! Pat says “mind, flexion, weight, feet”, I have some way to go to learn how to read the flexion, let alone the mind of the horse!

Anyway, by giving Boaz so much more time to think he started to get more confident and relaxed and was able to go onto a circle at a walk on phase one. If he wanted to come to me I would allow him in, make contact with him and them gently ask him back out in a friendly way with a smile on my face. This gave my energy a whole different feel, I was genuinely fascinated, not frustrated and I got immense satisfaction with every extra step he took on my phase one. I built this up and now we have managed to have 3 quarters of a truly connected circle at the canter on a 22 ft line. Before this I couldn’t get him to really canter on the 22 ft line, he would pull on it and constantly break gait.

I am very excited because his whole attitude to me is changing. He wants to be with me, even meeting me at the gate of the pasture when he is out loose at grass, cantering to me if I ask it. He calls to me whenever he sees me and when we’re together he is now asking me streams of questions, making contact with me, and making an effort to stay with me when I move. Sometimes he gets distracted and I disengage his hindquarters to get his two eyes back. This has really improved his disengagement. Before he had no disengagement, he would march forward and if you were lucky he would turn around his front end to come to you. When I first played with improving it, getting him to cross his legs he learned to pivot his hind end to stop you from tagging it but not actually come forward, because he lost trust in me and felt defensive. Now that we have done so much undemanding time, quiet time together when he finds me, he disengages with a different attitude and comes to me.  One of the other externs asked me if the water treatment was making a difference. I told her it had made a massive difference. She then said “it would be nice if he wanted to be with you without it being about the water”.  Now this is my view on it, if you control the water the horse knows you control his life. So you are important. You’re worth paying attention to. But does that make you someone he likes? Not necessarily. It could be a form of servitude and does nothing to stop the enslaved feeling contempt for their captor. But as well as controlling his water I have been offering him free time to be a horse, grazing time, play time, comfort, relaxation, treats, scratches, I am attentive to any need he might have. I have attempted to fill the role of loving parent (parents control the access of young children to water, food and anything else) rather than prison warden. I feel like by associating myself with so many positive things in his life it makes it easier for him to just feel positive emotions whenever he sees me. Our relationship is improving on a daily basis and today Boaz followed me everywhere at liberty. It was also today that he met me at the gate of the field. I expect that if I started allowing him to have water in his pen again but kept the other positives in our relationship things would not go so terribly wrong, but I actually enjoy our time at the “water hole” together. We have really bonded in the last couple of weeks and I want to keep that going!

I did have a hiccup early this week when I played with him at liberty. I was beginning to up to anti, asking him to actually go faster. This was before we got our cantering online. I sent Boaz out on the circle and he stopped. I followed through with my promise by putting pressure way out in zone 5 but as the string flew through the air he span around and it landed in zone 1, blocking him. Boaz felt like I was doing it to him because his immediate reaction was to turn away and leap out of the round pen. As soon as I knew he wasn’t hurt I set about making sure that he did not learn that as a pattern. Just like the pulling the rope out of your hand, jumping out of a round pen can be a serious problem. As soon as he found me again he was incredibly connected and we ended the session with a lovely connected circle on phase one. I realised that him jumping out had been the result of an error in timing and technique, not a loss of connection, and so I filed it in the “lesson learned” category. Be careful! Zone 5 can turn into zone 1 very quickly! He hasn’t done it again, and has made so much more progress that I am not panicking about it. I am of course very careful when we play at liberty in the round pen because I do not want to put the wrong pressure at the wrong time on to cause him to jump out, but this is not more likely to happen than with any other horse.

This week we have built a couple of precision pens to give us more focus in our finesse. We have been developing more feel and better technique with exercises like backward circles. In preparation for our future careers as Parelli Professionals we have been learning about emergency first aid procedures and saddle fitting too.  Saddle fitting has always made me right brained but Letitia of Parelli Saddles came out yesterday and made things so much more simple that I felt more able to give things a try. I bougt some of the new foam shims to optimise my saddle and pad combination for the duration of my externship and to take home and use on Paris as, after listening to Letitia, I am sure they will help him!

I plan to put Paris on a program of hill therapy and focus on our online and liberty when I get home to really build his topline. When the time comes to ride him I will see what I can do about my saddle situation. We got to look at the new Natural Rider saddle, which is a western saddle half the price of all the other Parelli saddles.  The difference is due to a slightly different material in the tree and thinner leather. I don’t ride western but having a western saddle will be great for trail rides, for Will playing silly buggers and for situations when I need to help someone feel more confident or get a horse used to a saddle. Obviously my dreams are not getting any less expensive so I better get a decent job when I get home – if anyone knows of anything let me know!

Pat dropped by for a visit today and explained to us just how good it is for a horse to be galloped out for a decent distance to “unclog the carbon”. I sent Boaz forward and got him really going much more than normal in the warm up for our afternoon session and he blew out loads and gave me a great session. I ended up finishing early because he was giving me everything I was asking for.

We have our mid-term reports at the end of this week, and some of the class are heading for Denver on the weekend to go to the Horse and Soul Tour. I would have loved to have gone, but I also enjoy being here so much and I decided to stay with Boaz instead.

We might have a lesson with Linda next week and things really seem to be continually gathering momentum! At least now I am caught up on my blog it should be easier for me to get back to my regular updates! Let’s see what next week as in store...!

Step Outside the Comfort Zone...

After our lesson with Linda Parelli on Tuesday we were all enthusiastic to practice what we had learned on Wednesday morning. Maurice introduced us to the colt starting skeleton, the steps to have a horse accepting the human, saddle, rider and bit. Since Maurice is one of the few licenced Colt Start Parelli Professionals he was full of interesting facts and stories and so we only got through half of the skeleton. We then tacked up our horses and had a ride. I had dropped one of my spurs on the way out of the house in the morning so I had to ride without them, and it was an eye opener! The spurs had been helping me with the porcupine but I was clearly not winning the game yet because without them Boaz was really not responsive. In the end I had to ride freestyle with te stick ready to back up my seat. I was happy when I was able to use my seat and rhythm to get more energy from Boaz at the trot, and once he was blowing out I was ready to quit. We all practiced our leg yield and showed a big improvement on the previous attempt, showing that we were all becoming more aware of where our horses legs were and what they were doing. I still don’t have that 100% but my awareness has greatly improved and I am thinking about how I correct my horse in a different way.

After lunch Maurice and Susan discussed the finer details of the falling leaf pattern, s pattern and rockslide. It was very useful to me because I hadn’t had clear instruction on these patterns since I was in level 2 and Maurice was able to giv us tips on how to handle the stick and rope in ways that I would not have been ready for back then. Now things are getting a lot more particular and precise.  The falling leaf and rockslide were particularly useful patterns with Boaz, who is mostly a confident horse and needs more drive than draw. With Boaz responding a little better online, I did my evening chores and headed up to the lodge for the first barbeque of the season. The food was great but my house mates and I were feeling rather tired after our night at the Springs, so we headed home fairly early, before the bonfire was really under way. Tim Sullivan was there singing and invited everyone to go hear him play at the Pagosa Pubworks on Friday night.

Thursday morning we completed the colt start skeleton before taking our horses up to the honeycomb (for those that don’t know this is a large circular pen with four smaller circular pens inside it. We split into three groups, one group would be playing liberty with each person in their own pen, another group practiced maintain gait at freestyle follow the rail in both directions along the rail of the large circle, and the third group were spending undemanding time grazing their horses, watching and learning from the others. I was in the riding group first and at first, although he would maintain gait, Boaz was not maintaining a rhythm. I would correct him when he really lost balance or dropped speed but tried to leave him alone as much as possible and have him find his most efficient trot, once he realised he was committed to the pattern. It didn’t take too long, maybe 7 or 8 laps for him to really start balancing. I then found a spot in one of the liberty pens. Susan had given us a demonstration on acting like the lead mare and gaining the horse’s connection in a way I had never seen before. The technique made do much sense that I was immediately excited and looking forward to practicing with Boaz. Basically the principle of game is based on watching dominant horses claim the hay piles other horses are eating from. So every time the horse stopped and did not have his eyes and ears on us we would walk up to the spot where he had halted and we would use our energy (at different levels depending on the horse) to claim the spot where the horse had stopped still, even if the horse was still there. The game was not about hitting the horse but about claiming every spot he stopped at. Some horses would stop and pivot, keeping their eyes and ears on the human, this still entitled the human to come in and claim the spot because the horse had to work out that the most comfortable place to stop was with the human. It took a little while with Boaz as I starting softly and built up the energy of my claiming. Soon enough Boaz was following me around and staying connected even after I allowed him to stand near me and graze for a while. I was happy with our session, and excited by what this would mean for our connection, as I took him over to the grazing area to relax and soak in all our learning.

After lunch Kristi Smith came and introduced herself to us as new campus manager. It was very interesting to learn about her journey, her role, and what she expected from us. I’m glad we had this opportunity because she’s an incredible horsewoman and I can learn a lot from her. I particularly find her drive inspirational; she won’t be a victim of life and hates excuses.

We then had individual appointments with Maurice and Susan to discuss our goals, in life and for the externship. I used the waiting time talking to other externs and practicing my roping skills. When it was finally my time I went into the office. We joked that about the “hot seat” because the foam on the arm rests had been ripped off in chunks, and it looked like people had been tortured. I laughed that they were about to strap me to a lie detector. Already laughing, and then sharing Worther’s Originals, it was easy to feel relaxed in what would normally be a stressful situation. Maurice and Susan are so warm, friendly and genuine that it is easy to trust them that they seriously do only want to help you achieve your goals. Maurice asked me what my long term goals were. I asked what he meant by long term, and he said life. I said that I want to have a family and be a Parelli Professional, that I am picturing myself being a 2 star whilst I raise my family but want to achieve at least 3 star status and keep pushing on as high as I can. He asked me what my goals were for the externship and I told him that the reason I had chosen to do the externship over the one star course was because I did not feel like I would be a good enough instructor to make a mark in a competitive market when I had completed the Fast Track. I had decided to be a working student and work my way up to the externship first. My idea had been to complete the externship with the professional aptitude scores for a 2** and necessary horsemanship, and would only need to do the required time as a one star before becoming a two star. I also confessed that when I formed this plan I had not anticipated that I would make it to the externship so soon. Now I still want to reach level four in online and freestyle so that I have the necessary horsemanship to be a 2 star, but I am also happy if I leave the externship with the skills and knowledge that I just need to apply a little more time and practice to get my level fours. Maurice asked me where I thought my online was. I said that I scored 3++ last summer and since then had focused on my freestyle and not much on online so I felt I was still 3++. I added that I can see the standard for level 4 and I use my stick and higher phases too much and do not have enough distance yet. Maurice told me that he felt that I was being very realistic and had good awareness. He added that he believed I would be able to get my online level four on the externship with Boaz, and even my freestyle if we could address my saddle issue. The saddle I had bought on Ebay is very high in the back and Boaz is built down-hill. I cannot shim the saddle enough to assist me to find my balance point and so I have to fight the saddle every time I ride. I explained why I had ended up with that saddle and agreed that it was not working. Maurice said we would find a solution and that Parelli Saddles would visit at some point and maybe something could be worked out. I left the meeting feeling very supported. I decided to play with Boaz for a short session, just four feet on the pedestal (he had been having trouble with it), connection on the circle and, if we had time, the liberty game in the round pen. He got all four feet on the pedestal within a few minutes and our online session was finished after just 15 minutes so I took him to the round pen and after I claimed his spot twice he was super connected to me and I took him back to his pen at liberty. I felt awesome!

After completing my chores I headed up to the lodge to join the other externs and instructors on the 3 star course for our first dance lesson with Paul. He taught us four simple” line dances. It was a real challenge to get the message to go from my brain, through my body and to my feet and I felt like a fish out of water but I had moments where the moves flowed through me and it felt great. I did have a lot of fun and am looking forward to next week’s class.

Friday was an intense day for me. We were all doing practice auditions in the savvy of our choice. I knew that I was not nearly ready for a real audition with Boaz but the purpose was for us to get specific feedback in the areas we needed to improve. I was the last person to do the online audition and would be at the end of the morning. I decided to spend time with Boaz and just sprinkle in a bit of playing in between grazing time until it was our turn to do our audition. Things were going well, Boaz was becoming more responsive (slowly) and when I allowed him to graze he would stand for a long time not eating, being really connected. I guess he felt like I still expected stuff from him or wouldn’t let him graze, I don’t know. We were both starting to be bothered by horse flies and our time was coming up. I had tested out the zone 5 driving and had decided just to show a little one rein zone five driving as we needed much more responsive transitions and more accurate steering. I still remembered the compulsories from my audition bonanza last summer so I planned to do zone 5 driving weave pattern, then circles with jump, pedestal, lead by the tail, and trailer. There was only one more person to be auditioned so I prepared to send Boaz on a circle. He wasn’t really backing up so I did a long phase one and then brought my energy right up and kind of ran toward him with a driving game. Instead of backing up he span around and took off ripping the 45 ft line through my hands. He tore across the playground past the “judges”, through the area where Anne was just finishing her audition. I sheepishly mimed sorry to the judges as I passed them to get him. He was happy enough when I reached him and popped the big log when I asked him as we returned to our end of the playground. I then backed him up and pointed in the direction I wanted him to go, putting the intensity into my phase one that I had mastered during my time in France and counting one, two, three before I channelled that intensity into a tagging of the spot where he was standing. Boaz had clearly had enough and was not on board for these kind of games because he again span around and tore off at full speed. I tried to let the rope slip a little and add little grips to slow him but within two sponges of my fingers I was at the end of the rope and in a last effort I tightened my grip, just enough to earn a, I guess deserved, learn burn. It’s at times like this I’m glad I have such calloused hands! Now my hands are beautifully smooth! But in that moment my hands were burning and panic set in. I knew a third escape would make a pattern of this and I had to stop him from pulling away from me. I also knew that there was a serious problem in our relationship and that I would not be able to do the plan I had intended for the audition. I caught Boaz and lead him out to one of the round pens. I did some porcupine and driving games before sending him on a circle and immediately he turned his butt on me but was unable to take off. I was able to maintain a feel and we had a big discussion, I guess it was more of an argument but as soon as he made a slight effort to try to be with me again I took all of the pressure off of him and we headed back to the playground. I was, by now, struggling to keep my emotions in control. I wanted to ask if I could not do the audition, or if it could wait until the afternoon, but I knew that I should be able to pull myself together enough to get out there and show something. As we headed into the playground Amanda was finishing an awesome audition and I used the falling leaf and rockslide pattern to get Boaz moving his feet. I was very aware of my energy and realised that it would not take too much from me to send him off again. I kept him at a much closer distance so that I could influence him with less energy and I felt myself concentrating over time. Kristi asked me whether I wanted energetic music or soft and sweet. I immediately replied “soft and sweet” and she said “good” and I wondered if she agreed with my decision to keep things soft. Boaz felt my insecurity, indecisiveness and lack of a plan, however we formed enough connection that he stayed with me and did complete most of the compulsory tasks within the ten minutes, including jumping the log, lead by the tail, four feet on the pedestal and trailer loading. He even game me one decent circle at the trot and I decided to quit the circling game there. I felt my emotional control begin to shake again as I listened to Maurice and Kristie’s comments. They agreed that Boaz was winning the porcupine game and that I needed to establish more leadership without getting harder on him. I was feeling shattered, I had tried my absolute best and felt like I had hit the end of my knowledge and couldn’t think how to do that. I took a few moments on my own to stop my emotional energy affecting others. I knew I would feel better once I had been able to process everything, but I really needed to be alone to do that. As soon as we were dismissed for lunch I took off up the track to the lodge so that I could walk alone. My thinking must have slowed me down because Graham and Kim caught up with me and expressed care and kindness to me. I appreciated it but it took a few more minutes before I could really discuss what had happened. I told Kim that I felt that this barrier had also been my limit in France and so I knew that Boaz was teaching me exactly what I needed to learn. And I am definitely in the best place to learn!

I spent the afternoon watching the other students do their freestyle and liberty auditions and learning from the comments they received. I did feel confident, after watching the auditions, that I am on a good track to getting my level four freestyle with Paris, I only need to get the flying changes. Of course there is always room to improve responsiveness and stuff too and I look forward to applying all that I’m learning here to my ultimate sacrificial lamb!

It was a timely experience as the previous afternoon Kristi had been telling us all about how we needed to have positive progressive attitudes and she had gone into what that really meant. We had also been discussing mental, emotional and physical fitness in the days before. On a side note, I guess I am really in need of having this all hammered into me right now because I spent hours yesterday writing up the notes on these topics and my computer didn’t save them despite the fact that I know I clicked save. So now I get to think deeply about it all over again, I will really know what these concepts mean by heart!

Needless to say my introversion was not helping me out and so I flipped over to the extrovert side of life and felt a determination to go out on the town and socialise! I got changed at the condo and ate salad and then Lena dropped me and Graham at the Pagosa Pubworks, where we were meeting Freda and several other externs had said they would come. Tim Sullivan was playing his guitar and singing and the pub had a nice atmosphere. As more externs arrived we chatted and danced. A few local were keen to teach us to dance and we all took a turn to two or three step with a man Jennifer has renamed “Gandolf”. It was a lot of fun but as the others started to head off home I felt like staying out. Fortunately I found a partner in crime. I think I should clarify something at this point. In my blog post “Level One with Excellence” I described my night out and mentioned that the girls were gone and so were a lot of guys. I want to make it clear that none of our girls left with guys from the bar. Apparently the bar is usually pretty quiet and our group had brought a lot of life to the place, so when they left a lot of locals also decided it was getting late and turned in. I want to be able to continue providing detailed blogs of my adventures but I do not want anyone to get in trouble over things I have said. I cannot write every little thing down, although you might notice I do try my best! If anyone is concerned about anything I write in my blog let me know!

Anyway, my dance partner and I headed over to Coyote Moon where it turned out to be reggae night. Neither of us had been to a reggae night before so it was a hilarious experience to join in with the dancing which ranged from gently swaying from side to side to having an epileptic fit. There was no need to worry about the rhythm of the music, in fact I felt out of place because I moved in time to the music! I had so much fun and got chatting to some people that had recently moved to Pagosa and were very proud of their new businesses. A couple of people were very keen to invite me and my buddy to the band’s after party but we had had a great night and declined their offer. I got home shortly after 2pm, just in time to Skype with Will who had just woken up.

I fell asleep at some point after four in the morning but kept waking up because we had to get to the ranch in time for Lena and Graham to give lessons. I cleaned out Boaz’s pen and spent hours typing notes (the ones that disappeared) whilst Boaz grazed. Graham and I then went shopping and I Skyped with Will again when we got home. I’m so glad we are managing to get so many opportunities to talk; I really had expected it to be more difficult. I got a Facebook message from Tom, the cowboy I had been talking to last week. We had been trying to come up with something to do on the weekend but he had ended up having to work. He invited me to a “bonfire party” at Lake Williams. I looked it up on Google and it was an hour north of where I’m living. Driving an hour to get to places is normal and commonplace in such a large open country. I accepted his invitation and gave his full name and details of where we were going to Graham. I had a really friendly, trusting feeling with Tom but my sensibility told me not to be too naive. When he arrived with his mate Adam to pick me up I was feeling a little nervous and quite excited about the evening. Tom (who I have told is now “my cowboy”) told me he had no idea how many people were going to be at the party. I told him that was fine but he was responsible for looking after me! He was very understanding of my precautions.

We climbed the mountains to 9,000 ft and parked up when we saw two cars near a campfire. A young woman, nicknamed Bucket, introduced herself and her dogs, including an adorable bull mastiff puppy called Monster. She was with a guy named Brian, Kyle had organised the party, and then it was me, Tom and Adam. Any awkwardness about my being a stranger among friends soon evaporated as Bucket asked me if English jokes were different to American ones. I started telling a long list of jokes at the expense of the Irish and blondes. We spent the night talking about everything from government and politics, religion, horsemanship, fishing, hunting and shooting and the finer details of how to toast marshmallows and eating smores! Each time the fire began to die I would worry that it was nearly the end of our party but we would always gather enough wood to keep it going. We played music from the various car stereos and I found myself wide awake on diet coke. At one point I was holding a big gun which had a flash light and using it to illuminate a fallen tree trunk which the guys were taking turns to chop into firewood using a chipping axe. I have been promised that I will be taught how to fire several different guns before I go home! By 3.30 am I felt like I had made some good friends and was extremely comfortable with my new companions. Adam was struggling to stay on his feet as he was falling asleep where he stood, and Tom asked me if I was tired. I was still wide awake but I could see Tom was getting tired and as he was driving I told him we should go. I know only too well the dangers of driving whilst tired.

I managed to get about four hours sleep before I dragged myself upstairs so that I was ready to go to the ranch when the others were. I have had a relaxed day grazing Boaz, typing more notes, blogging and chilling with my housemates. I’ll be hitting the pillow any minute now and expect I will sleep very well! Got to be fresh and ready for a new week of learning, which apparently is going to be more intense!

The Pat Factor

Sunday rolled by in a sleepy haze, I didn’t even practice roping. It was a real R&R day for everybody and just what the doctor ordered.

Monday morning and we all arrived at the ranch bright eyed and bushy tailed. After cleaning Boaz’s pen I did a quick poop sweep of the play ground because I had had him out for several hours over the weekend and needed to do my share of the clean up! We all gathered for our usual 8.30 meeting and I looked at the weekly schedule and almost fell over. Under the word “Tuesday” it said: 8.30 Q&A, 9.00 – Lodge meeting with Pat, 10.30 Session with Linda 2.30 review of morning, 3.00 Breed presentations...

We were going to meet Pat and have a lesson with Linda! Maurice arrived and talked us through how things could still change as Pat and Linda had very hectic schedules. He said that he and Susan were hoping to have us prepared for Linda to start teaching us some Game of Contact concepts (despite it being level 5+ as it is about horse training more than people training) and so we would again be focusing on soft touch in our morning riding session. Soft touch is a friendly game with our hands and the bit, like fluid rein, we use it to learn how to get in time with the horse and create harmony which builds confidence with us using the bit. Maurice discussed how stirrup length can affect fluidity and that the correct neutral position for the feet is actually flat (heel and toe level) and parallel to the horse. Since I have been wearing spurs I have become very conscious of having my feet more parallel to the horse (although this is not always easy especially, oddly enough, at the walk). However, I have been trying to get my heels down almost all the time because this is something I have constantly been told to do, even recently, and because I have quite a short inflexible Achilles tendon so I have been trying to stretch it. Maurice explained that if our heels are already down they have nowhere to go when we want to make an engaged manoeuvre. I guess if we think of it from a fluidity point of view, that we want to do in our bodies what we want the horse to do in theirs, therefore our heel would relate to their hocks. A horse needs to flex his hocks to bring his hind legs underneath himself in order to perform engaged transitions. The horse’s hocks will continually flex and un-flex as a normal part of his stride, even if he is engaged. I remember in level one Linda using the concept of pedalling in order to “exaggerate to teach” people to move in their bodies in harmony with the horse’s walk, and to take brace and tension out of the rider. At level four you want to have refined this and not look like a lost cyclist on a horse, but having soft ankles that have a little motion in rhythm with the horse’s gait make sense. Heels that are forced down create brace and I have noticed that, with our longer riding sessions, I am experiencing some pain in my knees. I definitely need to focus on this. It’s funny how aware of my riding I am now; I am constantly changing what I do and finding room for improvement. Sometimes it’s disheartening because it feels like as soon as one thing starts to go right another pops out of place. It’s like playing super hard “whack-a-mole”. My brain only has room for one new thing at a time; it’s already multi-tasking with the hundreds of slightly less new things I’m doing in my body.

We then discussed the Four Agreements and what they mean:

1)      Be impeccable with your word

2)      Don’t take things personally

3)      Don’t make assumptions

4)      Always do your best

These four agreements are important guidelines to remember when you are any kind of professional and at Parelli it is taken very seriously. Being impeccable with your word means having integrity; that you will walk what you talk and can be relied upon. Not taking things personally means that you will be able to keep your cool while all around you lose theirs, that you will be able to step out and stand for what you believe in despite the inevitable negativity you will face from others (it is not a risk, people WILL be hostile when you move against the current). Not making assumptions means that, whilst you may make decisions based on experience, or make educated guesses, you remain open to the possibility of an unexpected outcome. This flexibility is essential because assumptions often lead us to be surprised when the unexpected happens and then we are less likely to respond appropriately. And finally, always doing your best may seem a tall order, but how does it feel when you know you did a bad job? Personally I feel like I’ve let myself down when I underachieve, like in my law degree. I did not do my best at university and now I have plenty of time to regret it. When you always do your best people can see that, they know your heart is in what you do and that goes a long, long way, and you know it, you can be proud of your achievements.

We rode for a couple of hours and added some lateral movements at the end of a session, which was focused mainly on soft touch. I was feeling pretty good because finally my hands were starting to have a better feel at the trot but when I saw Maurice he said I looked like I was posting too high because the horse was not forward and that I should use the spurs to get him forward. This confused me because I had always heard Pat say that the spurs were not for speed, but for adding height to a stride or going sideways. Apparently I was not alone in thinking this because Maurice addressed the issue to the whole class. He explained that when you are riding with contact or soft touch you cannot use your hand to use a rope or stick as a phase four to motivate a horse to go forward as you would freestyle. If you do you have to interrupt whatever you are doing with the reins. He said that if you go through your phases and squeeze with no more than four ounces with your legs, you then just put “energy” into your legs which causes the spurs to touch the horse. You are not digging or poking or kicking with the spurs, you are sending a rhythmic energy (I struggle here because I always think of rhythmic motion, but energy does not require your whole leg to wiggle) through your leg which will lead to the spur. When I tried this with Boaz he got annoyed and bucked out at the spurs. This made me more concerned that I had missed something or had the wrong idea. So I asked Maurice. He said that there was a difference between a horse expressing himself when learning something and a horse that is continually tail swishing because the rider jabs him with every stride. He reiterated the point that the process does not look like the product and in fact sometimes looks quite ugly. This reminds me of Pat’s analogy in the new level 4 DVD about baking a cake. He said when you spread out the ingredients it doesn’t look anything like a cake, and when you mix the ingredients it still doesn’t look like a cake. It only looks like a cake at the end of the baking process. This reassured me a little, because I quite agreed that if someone poked me in the ribs I would react but if they always did something first I would soon pay attention as soon as they gave the preparatory signal, rather than wait for the poke in the ribs. And so I found myself putting my trust again into the programme, Boaz will soon show if I am performing the technique correctly or not. If he does not improve then I know I need to change something.

Lunch time flew by as usual and soon we were back in class discussing mental, emotional and physical fitness. These sessions are so interesting because we all share our ideas and stories, experiences and understandings and you get new perspectives. It’s not like being in a school where the teacher says “this is the answer”, rather we are encouraged to become thinkers and to search for answers for ourselves. Being in a group of people with such a high level understanding of these concepts is always fun and we often run over our allotted time as we get into deep discussions. As our talk came to an end (Maurice brought it to an end, we’d probably still be there now otherwise!) we were taken outside to think about physical fitness. “I want to show you something pretty” Maurice said. “Uh oh!” we all replied. And we all headed out and were steered towards a very steep hill. At the bottom of the hill Maurice told us that we would be riding down this hill at the trot. He said you are safer on these steep hills because the horse is also thinking “uh oh” and will look after himself, whereas on softer slopes they may run on and get carried away with momentum and start bucking and frolicking. He spoke about how it is ok to ask a horse for effort but we need to look after them, keep a balance between mollycoddling and abuse. He then asked us to walk halfway up the hill and at the second tree, where the gradient increased, we had to turn around and finish the ascent backwards. Whilst doing this we had to focus on what muscles we needed to use to find our balance point. I found it very difficult to keep my footing, let alone make good progress on the hill, I definitely could do with more practice. When we got to the top we could see right over Pat and Linda’s house and the arena where lots of the Savvy Club DVDs were filmed. Maurice pointed out landmarks on the landscape and was disappointed that the clouds were hiding Mount Capitan which is a particularly spectacular and peculiar mountain peak. We then began our descent down the hill, this time going backwards on the lower half. I found this much easier.

We all had free horse time so I decided to play online because we have been riding a lot recently and Boaz could do with more online development and I need to get the practice if I am ever to get that 3++ to turn into a level 4. I order to be a one star Parelli Professional you need to complete level 4 online, you need level 4 freestyle and liberty too in order to get your second star. Three star professionals need their level 4 in all four savvys. So currently my priority would be online, then freestyle. I made a plan of checking out how Boaz felt about the trailer (he loaded in all the way when I opened the partition so the entrance was a bit bigger), circling game (his trot was great and we had a couple of nice changes of direction but the canter was not happening!) and finally the pedestal . I was expecting him to be pretty good with the pedestal but once he had two feet on it he really could not believe me that it was possible for the other two feet to join them. We had a lengthy discussion about it and in the end he stood with all four feet on the pedestal. Unfortunately he is not making the connection between pedestal and place of comfort. He is not confident standing so base narrow. I have decided to make a little program of the pedestal in order to build his confidence, help us toward a possible audition and also I figure it is a good conversation point for us. He flits between RBI “I can’t” and LBI “I won’t” so I have to keep adjusting and the difference is so subtle that I’m often running just on the feeling he is giving me.

I spent the evening preparing my breed presentation on Missouri Fox Trotters, which entailed spending hours trying to find a good horse joke and memorising the entire history, qualities uses and movement of the Fox Trotter.

Everyone was at the barn early cleaning their horses and shining their boots. We got together at 8.30 and Maurice explained how we would make our way up to the lodge and wait for Pat there and then when we returned we were to saddle up as quickly as possible because we needed to be ready to begin our lesson with Linda at 10.30 sharp.

When we got to the lodge we sat around the hearth of the campfire and chatted. Pat came riding into sight and some of the chatter died down. Pat welcomed us to his eagle’s nest and explained the original dream for the ranch to be a school, a university for students. He explained the philanthropy side of making a large organisation sustainable and explained the many expenses of the ranch. It became clear that to keep the Colorado ranch is an incredible expense, particularly to run it as an educational facility. Pat said if he wanted to be rich he could have done things very differently but he wanted to help future eagles reach their potential (Pat often talks in terms of eagles and turkeys). As he was talking about what he expected from people that worked in his barn and his dedication to his goal to reach level 10, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was really eagle material. For sure I’m not a turkey, but perhaps I was some over flighty bird? The thing is that when I see Pat and his ambition (which exudes from every pore) it is both inspirational and intimidating; he is a very intense man. He shows his generosity through the facility he runs, the scholarship program, the “share the profits scheme”, the “million dollar merchandise give away”. The company is literally surviving hand to mouth and needs a constant, large stream of revenue to survive. Pat explained how in 2008 they had to make 30 people redundant as they face bankruptcy. It was news to me.  However, despite his generosity and other great qualities, I felt like I was being confronted with a large mirror. The mirror showed what I needed to be to be really successful with horses but someone had taken a bright red lip stick and written on the mirror “how much do you want it?”. Was I willing to put in what it would take? It may seem odd to people that I feel like this when I have made it this far, but the fact is I know what is waiting for me when I get home. I have debts to pay off, then I need to earn money to buy a place to live, I want to marry Will and have a family. These things won’t bring my horsemanship journey to an end, not by a long shot, but in order to earn the money I will need I have to work, and at my current level I will not be earning that kind of money by riding horses for 10 hours a day, which Pat describes as necessary for success. And I can see his point. I wonder if this is one of the many reasons why men so often excel in their chosen sphere, even if the lower ranks are dominated by women. It takes a single minded focus and a lifetime’s dedication to truly reach the top. I have other dreams and goals, my focus cannot be so single minded and my timeline is already going against me. Add to that the fact that I still have never had that “bite” from a particular discipline, and it seems like my horsemanship goals are pretty fuzzy. Be as good with horses as I can possibly be whilst being true to myself. I have always loved horses, but when I was a kid I did not really pretend to ride, I pretended to BE a horse. I would day dream on the way to school of having a horse walking beside me, I would even stop and allow my imaginary horse friend to nibble the hedges and flower beds of the houses we passed. I would sit in the back of my mum’s car imagining horses galloping along the grassy verge at the side of the motorway. I would dream of a horse coming when I called. It was the relationship I always dreamt of, not a sport. When I bought Paris I was happy to do whatever it was that he enjoyed and had talent for, and I find myself still feeling the same way. I dream of having a foal and starting that relationship as early as possible, because I want my childhood dreams to come true, I don’t worry that the horse might not be a good jumper or not excel at dressage or cutting. None of that matters to me. Perhaps that is why I love paying at liberty so much, and riding freestyle. And so I guess that is my goal, to be so good with horses that I can build deep, meaningful relationships with them based on trust, understanding and willingness and to help other people who want to do the same. When I first realised it was actually possible to learn these skills I was so excited, and I want to share that with people who, like me, dreamt about it but were fooled by meritocracy into believing it was nothing more than fantasy.

Anyway, I digress, after the brief but powerful meeting with Pat we headed back to the barn and tacked up our horses. The arena had been scraped so I didn’t want to go in before we were told to so I took Boaz into a round pen to warm up. I didn’t want to ride in front of Linda without having a couple of things going in my direction first. So I did a little stick to me and porcupine game and when Boaz disconnected I would send him out on a circle at speed. He was soon far more connected and I found him more tractable when I mounted. He was a little fidgety and so, instead of disengaging him every time he walked off without my permission, I would give him a penalty back up. Soon he had the idea and was waiting patiently as everyone mounted and gathered near the arena for Linda’s arrival. When Linda arrived she sat on the edge of the arena and told us all to just ride around as we normally would and she would see where we were at and get an idea on what we needed coaching with. I set off on a follow the rail and was adding circles and some lateral movements to keep Boaz’s mind rather than just going brain dead on the rail. Linda called us all in and said she was happy to see the level of riding and that we were all showing good skills. She said she wanted us to focus on soft touch and also to ask our horses for a better, more forward trot. She then backed up what Maurice had said the day before about the spurs adding that when the horse found his forward trot he would start to move better and stretch his head toward (but not below) his knees. I was managing to get Boaz more forward but a few times he would just speed up the trot until he rolled into canter and so I put him on a small circle until he regained the trot. Again Linda called us in and she said she wanted to do simulations with all of us on soft touch. She came to each of us and took a hold on the reins and pretended to be the horse. She told us to use our elbows to follow the feel of her hands. By thinking about my elbows my focus shifted up from my hands and so I began riding in a more uphill manner. And thinking forward and maintain the touch was very important. At one point I rode near Linda and she said “Good!! Good elbows!” and I looked behind me to check if she meant someone else. Kristi Smith, PP and campus manager saw and said to me “she meant you Cheryl”. We, as a class, all progressed massively in one day. As Linda was about to leave I rode past her again. Boaz was making a little more effort with his hind legs and for a couple of strides he pushed his head forward and down in a small but correct stretch and Linda said “nice”. It may seem daft to quote these things but I was very happy to hear Linda say positive things about my riding. We had another hour of riding after she left and, in the end, Boaz was really using his hind quarters and I got a bit more stretch. It was also the best soft touch I have ever done so far.

We discussed the morning after lunch, then played ball in order to develop our hand eye skills, and to wake everyone up.  I was starting to get better at throwing the American football and I had a moment of thinking it felt like when I was throwing the rope when I was lassoing. By the way, my practice on Monday gave me a higher rate of successful casts with the lasso on our poor unsuspecting wooden cow. We took turns to give our presentations on different horse breeds. After chores I had a short session with the pedestal with Boaz. He needs consistency repetition.

Many of us capped the eventful day with a nice relaxing trip to the hot springs. It was fun; I got to know some of the girls better, and to play with Shirley under the waterfall. Lena and I took a couple of dips in the river but we had to be careful to stay at the edge where it was shallow because the current is very strong out in the deep water and you would quickly be swept away.

It’s only been two classroom days since my last blog post but so much happens I just have to share it before it disappears into the messy fog that is my brain!